Elmen Center announces bid to host 2028 Olympics

Augustana’s own Elmen Center, along with countries across the world, has thrown its hat in the ring to host the 2028 Summer Olympics.

The idea to host the Games of the XXXIV Olympiad came after the Elmen hosted Late Night Olympics earlier this last month. Based off of its success, associate athletic director Ann Traphagen feels confident about Augustana’s prospects.

“I mean, how hard can it be to host the Summer Olympics? We host games and events all the time,” Traphagen said.

Facing some fierce competition, Sioux Falls will be going up against cities like Toronto, Los Angeles, Madrid and Paris, just to name a few. If selected, the Elmen be the Rudy of Olympic Stadiums with a maximum capacity of 4,000. The current smallest ever, Stockholm Olympic Stadium, held 14,500 seats.

Marcanã Stadium in Rio de Janiero, which hosted the opening and closing ceremonies of the 2016 Olympic Games, has a capacity of 75,000. Although significantly smaller, Traphagen believes the Elmen’s coziness offers mass appeal.

“Sure, the Elmen Center might be slightly smaller than past venues, but I think a smaller venue would give the Olympics a family atmosphere,” Traphagen said.

If selected, Augustana would have to provide housing and plenty of rubbers for all Olympic athletes. Certain to be significantly larger in 2028, the 2016 Olympics Games had approximately 10,500 athletes competing.

“What?” director of campus life Corey Kopp asked when he found out how many athletes may need to house. “That’s ridiculous. We’ll just throw them into
Humanities.”

Although some people give up when faced with this many roadblocks, Traphagen has a solution.

“We’ll just put more than two people in each dorm,” Traphagen said. “I think students can agree that the dorms are too large for just two people.”

Another obstacle Traphagen faces is that the Elmen’s swimming pool is not proportionalto Olympic standards. ButTraphagen has a solution.

“Swimmers will just have to swim back and forth twice as often,” Traphagen said. “Millenials are getting soft anyway.”

Another hurdle Augustana faces is feeding the athletes. An estimated 60,000 meals were prepared for the 2016 Olympic Games. To meet the demand for so many meals, Augustana’s catering manager, Jack Jacobs, has a solution.

“Students are going to have to eat out, and a few of the olympians will have to share meals,” Jacobs said. “The kitchen will have to operate nonstop to prepare close to the amount meals we’ll need.”

Hosting might cause Augustana staff a couple of headaches. However, Traphagen wants to remind the community that it’s for a good cause.

“$3,000 a ticket,” Traphagen said of Rio de Janeiro’s price for a seat at the opening ceremonies. “Think of how many packs of Marlboro Red we could by for Augustana athletes.”

During the application process, Traphagen had to sell why the Olympic committee on why it should select the Elmen as the host stadium.

“I told them, we will have everything the 2016 Olympics had,” Traphagen said.“Well, everything except the Zika virus.”

The lack of viruses inspired Sioux Falls’ campaign motto for the Olympics.  “Sioux Falls: Small Town, Big Hearts, No Zika.”

Augustana will find out if their bid has been accpeted a year before the next summer olympics. Until then, we wait.