Yes, they’re two-bit writers with nothing better to do

It’s pathetic. It’s failing. It’s SAD.

The journalists of the Mirror are all losers, folks. They don’t win anything, they have the worst words and they have tiny hands. I don’t even know how they edit the paper with such tiny hands.

This fake news media pushes phony stories. Who has ever heard of a “May-Term,” let alone reports on it? Losers. Complete losers. Losers like the Mirror.

And their coverage is so wrong. Trust me, I have sources. The best sources. And they’ll tell you  it’s all a fraud, a massive fraud, and the Mirror has such bad ratings.

Look at Tuve, where there are piles and piles of papers. These bozos can’t even get free papers sold! If only they could cut deals, but these SAD people can’t even do that.

It’s terrible, just terrible. Terrible. If I was running the show, University of Sioux Falls would be paying for the Mirror. Instead, these crooked, total frauds are wasting honest, economically anxious students’ tuition on fake news.

And because of all the fake news they promote, these “journalists” can’t even cover the real stories. ASA might be wiretapping students. And since I just said ASA is wiretapping students, there’s evidence that ASA is wiretapping students. How about they report on that?

That’s not the only ASA scandal the clowns don’t report on. They are too inept to even let you know about the numerous other scandals I could totally describe right now if these biased, failing, sad so-called reporters wouldn’t crookedly lie about them.

Compare that to all the stories over the new Augustana president, who we didn’t even vote for. There’s no article about that, nothing about the system being rigged for the presidency.

It’s all rigged and these Mirror people are in on it. Disgraceful. SAD.

And have you seen these dummy dope, no talent wackos? One of them wears socks with sandals. Only a total third-rate reporter, a clown, would wear socks with sandals, but the highly overrated Mirror employs this chump.

Then there’s the very dishonest, totally biased  writer who unfairly attacked the great judge Scalia. Very rude and insulting to a great American!

These snowflakes, so disloyal to Augustana, let any lightweight who doesn’t have a clue slander true Vikings. If these mindless, incompetent donkeys won’t take responsibility, this fake news should be put to sleep.

I’m sure right now these failing, crying, lost souls are writing up an embarrassing response. These losers just can’t accept the truth and are the enemies of the Augustana public. They will do anything to lie.

I’d tell you to check next week for the totally biased, ineffectual response, but they are low-energy and lack the stamina to produce their laughingstock rag even once a week.

This bad management is causing circulation to drop, it’s a total free-fall.

Besides, no one should suggest reading this crooked, failing paper.

The little Mirror and the very dishonest people who work for it should be boycotted. Just like Nordstroms.

Ronald Drumpf is a nut job who needs to pick on someone his own size. He also enjoys long stays in his bathrobe and sensual belly rubs. And watch out, ladies, he’s grabby.