A freshman’s frank review of dorm life

About a month ago, the class of 2023 moved into the freshman residence halls on a rather temperate day.

Everyone was excited to meet their roommates, decorate their dorms and set up various amenities to make their room truly feel like a home away from home. But after a month of living in the dorms, it is rather obvious that freshman dorms are not quite the home that most expected.

Perhaps the most jarring experience of freshman dorm life, as most would expect, is the communal bathrooms.

Figuring out how to undress in one’s dorm room without flashing your roommate and then showering in a room that harkens back to the 1950s is far from fun. The shower curtains are coated with orange mildew and the shower drain is surrounded by rings of hair with unknown origins.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

Another rather miserable part of dorm life experienced by freshmen residents is the lack of air conditioning. This last month has consistently been 80 degrees or higher, and the warm weather has turned all freshman dorm rooms into frinkin’ saunas.

The humidity and extreme temperatures make it nearly impossible to get a good night’s sleep without having at least five fans running at all times. It also greatly impedes one’s ability to comfortably hide away in one’s room as all introverts do from time-to-time. With the nearing lower temperatures of fall, this will eventually not be an issue. However, the class of 2023 should expect to experience an equally unpleasant and sweltering spring.

The worst thing that one can possibly experience in the freshman dorms is inexperienced drinkers coming back hammered and puking on the hallway carpet in consistent intervals as they try to make it to the toilet, however pointless that may be. Their puke then soaks into the carpet as one waits for the VA on-call to come and attempt to mitigate the damage. Even after the puke has been cleaned up, a stain remains and residents of that hallway crinkle their noses whenever their eyes land on the stain, remembering the sickly sweet smell of vomit that filled their floor not that long ago.

This description of dorm life makes it sound like hell on earth—and sometimes it can be—but it’s also filled with freedom, laughs and love. As friendships blossom and people bond over shared experiences in the residence halls of Augustana, this place is slowly but surely becoming a home away from home.